The decision to have a child is always conditioned by multiple factors, not always rational and probably different from one individual to another. comprehensively analyze would be difficult and beyond the scope of this work, although we must also bear in mind that pregnancy with multiple sclerosis has physical and emotional implications, may influence the both positively and negatively. The disability can lead to disease and in any case, the mentality of the disabled of their limitations, can be an obstacle in the decision on a possible motherhood but, in response, may also be a stimulus to conduct a maternity and test their own femininity, denied on a social level.
Like anyone else, we also see people with multiple sclerosis are important to have the opportunity to choose freely and consciously.
This means, first, to understand and clarify to himself the reasons that lead to a particular choice and be aware and be informed about the changes that consequently experienced.
The relationship with your partner
The impact caused the birth of a baby in the couple in which one member is disabled is the same as any other couple. The period before birth, and then the discovery of the role of parenting, can sometimes lead to greater collusion between the couple, who are sharing daily in changes during pregnancy and then changes itself son. The mixture of joy and worry, waiting for the birth, the couple held each other: first, the mother finds support for the changes you are experiencing (physical and psychological), while the future father comes to perceiving through its partner, the strong emotions of motherhood.
However, we can say that the quality of the couple’s relationship reflects, perhaps amplifying some characteristics, the relationship previously described. However, pregnancy can be the occasion to seek a new balance within the couple, the birth of a child implies a restructuring of family dynamics precedent and common attitudes can be discovered previously.
Perhaps the most important aspect for pregnancy with multiple sclerosis is the need for women to support and understanding from family and one’s partner. Women who have the emotional support of living say the pregnancy of a more satisfactory way. For women with disabilities, the attitude of others is particularly important and may represent a useful support to overcome difficult times or, conversely, an added stressor to those directly linked to pregnancy. Below are some examples:
Many disabled women experience strong conflict to feel dependent on other people: these feelings can escalate during pregnancy because of the physical state because pregnant women often require help to perform activities previously performed by itself. Other women with disabilities, however, find any justification for these feelings during pregnancy, since you live from the psychological level as a normal feature of all pregnant women: all women during pregnancy with multiple sclerosis need extra help and attention, so the experience of a disabled woman is similar to that which is not.
Feelings of stress can be transmitted to future father women. The emotional and father’s work often is increased during pregnancy, especially in situations where disability is present, in addition to practical problems; there is a greater concern for the health of the mother. Perhaps the most stressful situations appear when the couple or other people living pregnancy have the feeling of not being able to help. Undoubtedly, in the field of pregnancy are uncontrollable and unforeseen situations, nevertheless, as we said before, this period may represent an opportunity for partners to share emotions, even if they are unpleasant.
Changes during pregnancy
During nine months of pregnancy are experienced significant physical changes and, consequently, psychological, the latter linked to a different perception of body image and emotions relating to the proximity of motherhood. In the course of pregnancy feelings are different, as the physical, so we can divide time into trimesters of pregnancy to superimpose better with the physical changes to the emotions causes.
The first trimester of pregnancy
It is the period known to be pregnant. Emotional reactions can be diverse: shock, satisfaction, surprise, fear, worry. A woman may experience one of these feelings or, sometimes, feel a plurality of emotional states. In the case of a disabled woman can amplify the initial reactions concern for their own fitness and health of the baby now many concerns arise urgency.
Surprise and sense of disbelief associated with moments of extreme happiness: the emotional ambivalence that period are not necessarily linked to disability , physical and hormonal changes that manifest during pregnancy often result in amplified reactions to everyday situations and changes Sudden mood.
The second trimester of pregnancy
In the first trimester pregnancy is private, the mother who decides she wants to communicate. In the second quarter is visible pregnancy, women should confront the curiosity of the people, congratulations, advice (often free and unsolicited) are not only friends and family but also strangers. It is also time to break the news to people outside, it can be difficult and sometimes embarrassing the news to people who may not understand this choice: a disabled woman pregnant can be seen as an unusual situation and therefore Cause for curiosity. In fact, because of lack of knowledge about disability, many people’s reaction to the news of the pregnancy of a disabled woman is surprise to people not related to disability can be difficult to include pregnancy in a woman for example, which is in a wheelchair.
Other people have no preconceived opinions, but simply note, for many disabled women it is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate the falsity of some beliefs about their condition. These beliefs are nothing but a manifestation of a complex bias linked to the sexuality of disabled people , often the denial of people ’s sexual behaviors are thought to have other problems to think about. Fortunately, as you begin to address this issue with more realism and less shame, thanks also to the disabled themselves, no longer hide their emotions and feelings related to sexuality.
Certainly, the behavior of bewilderment and incomprehension hurt women with disabilities, especially when it comes from family or friends, such feelings can range from fear for the health of the expectant mother into admiration for his courage.
A pregnant woman, regardless of their handicap, to receive from those around her emotional support and share the experience that is living , these feelings, linked to body image to be transformed and self-esteem, have little to do with disability and are shared by all women who experience a pregnancy with multiple sclerosis.
The third trimester of pregnancy
In this quarter are increased feelings about the upcoming birth. Such feelings can be released if the pregnancy is experienced as a period full of difficulty, of anxiety if the desire to see the baby and make sure it is healthy is very intense, scary for the responsibility that represents motherhood. It is, however, a period that also can be experienced as an intense waiting, enjoying all the positive emotions linked to the new birth and sharing with those who are closest.
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